Letter to a Mother from Her Daughter

16 January 2018

Dear Mother,

Pride has prevented us many times to enjoy moments that could have been extremely beautiful and happy. The wounds didn’t let us hug each other warmly, for each of us bumped into them and felt their pain. Our egos led many fierce, “bloody” battles and left such deep wounds behind, so we no longer knew why our souls were so petrified. I learn from them, for I no longer want to let myself be subdued by your mistakes, just because it’s genetic.

I learn from them for my children, to rise above the evil, above the egos filled with fears, envy and resentment, which the deeper the wounds, the larger they become and feed on evil.  I no longer allow myself fall from harsh words and insults, screams and diabolical grins. This isn’t me. Whatever you’d have called me, I no longer feel so, for I know who I am inside and only this matters for me now. Actually, I always knew but sometimes doubted it. These are life lessons for me, to become a better version of me. Maybe they were life lessons for you too, but you let yourself be put down by pain and were tired to fight.

I believe and understand you now, for I also fearfully felt some overwhelming fatigue when I wanted to give up. To give up everything. But I choose to promise myself every day to be a better, more mature and wiser human being. Almost nothing of what you were. Or of what you actually showed on the outside from wounds stuck on past and regrets. Anyway, if I give it a better thought, who were you? Mean? Kind? Believer? Diabolical? For my peace of mind, I choose to believe that you were kind, but you didn’t know how to make yourself understood and thus your actions and words were sometimes diabolical, for too many “demons” had gathered, which you gave up fighting against and sometimes they kneeled you and you remained there, powerless. I forgive you. I set you free. I forgave you. I’ve set you free. It was a tough fight. With you. But especially with myself. Sometimes with life itself. It was a tough fight to get here, but the path that opens before me must be continued, I shouldn’t go back. I won’t turn my head around even for a second. But if I ever do it, I’ll only look back without any negative feeling, but only to congratulate myself I’ve won. I’ve defeated the evil. In me. In you. In all those hurt.

I loved you. You were my mother. But I’ve also hated you. Oh yes, there were days when I hated you with my whole being and you made me feel so helpless. I wanted you to be my friend. I wanted you to hug me, to tell me all will be all right. That it will pass. I hated you because you were the adult who should have defended and protected me against monsters, evil people, the cunning wolf, but you chose to argue with me, to blame me for everything, to yell and desperately shout with crazy eyes and denigrate me.

But I forgive you. I, the adult of today, not the child in me. I’ve released the inner hurt child anyways, too. I’ve set her free a long time ago. I forgive you because you were a hurt soul too in your turn, a mind that was silently asking for help but couldn’t find it anywhere. You were on the verge of despair and nobody helped or understood you. Not even me. Or maybe I did, but others were in our way. Or pride. Or the ego. We all chose to put you against the wall, to point our fingers at you. And sometimes we hit you so hard! But we did it because it was hurting us, the soul was hurt inside of us, our meanness was kneeling us… this meanness that passed on from one generation to another like a virus that silently sucked the joy and love!

I set you free and I’ll try to remember our beautiful moments. I’m trying to find them somewhere in my memories. Or should I look for them in my soul?


*These lines were written about a year ago. About a few weeks ago when I decided to publish this article, things were to take a turn I’ll leave below:




With tears in my eyes and peace in my soul

I’m watching you fly and letting you go.

And I keep thinking, my oh my,

We could have done many things, you and I.


Nothing can stop me any longer right now,

No evil could again make our souls bow,

Prevent us from joining in thought with no fear,

Cause now I see you as though you’re still here.


Now you’re free and there’s joy in your spirit,

Now you may wander wherever, I feel it,

Now you’re free and there’s no more pain,

Now you may guide us, so nothing is in vain.


Should you meet others in the world beyond,

Who’ve left us without uttering a word,

Tell them we forgave them and ask them also

To forgive us and watch over us in loving care so.


Now you’re ageless and beautiful again,

Hurt soul you were, people say like you I am,

And I, with a restful soul and in a soft voice

I repeat I forgave you and in peace I rejoice.


I promise you now, in wee hours of morning:

I’ll make peace among black clouds of mourning

So many years drowned in shivering egos,

With hearts torn by fearful tornados!


I’ll heal wounds with fear-frozen blood,

I’ll break the thick shell of petrified mud

Where patience was scattered in fire and dust

I’ll be the love neither you nor I could make last.


Don’t let hurts and fears dictate your life. Don’t feed the demon. Learn to courageously and lovingly say what you have to say, heal and appreciate every moment with your parents. There are many parents who have hurt or still hurt their children! Learn to forgive. For your peace of mind! Forgiveness doesn’t mean you consent with their behaviour or that you are tolerant or blind. Forgive, but without having expectations from others, without continuing to judge them through the filter of your own thinking pattern. No matter how much you want to sometimes, you can’t change anyone unless they do it themselves. And if they make changes, it might not even be where you expect it so that’s precisely why it’s healthy to get rid of expectations. Give a second chance to any person you think is worth it. By giving another person a second chance, you also give yourself a second chance. We live in a circle where people hurt us and we also hurt others in our turn, intentionally or unintentionally. Our goal is to dust off and be better and kinder, but we can’t be better if we cling to the past so tight! Life passes before our eyes with hurried steps sometimes! How do you choose to look at it? How do you choose to live it?




  1. Reply


    17 January 2018

    I really enjoyed reading this, it resonated with me as I lost my mother 7 months ago and share many of those feelings you expressed. A brave and insightful blog x

    • Reply


      17 January 2018

      So sorry for your loss! Xx Thank you for the heart-felt encouragements.

  2. Reply

    Annie Cho

    17 January 2018

    So sorry for your loss. This was written beautifully.

    • Reply


      17 January 2018

      Thank you, Annie! <3

  3. Reply


    17 January 2018

    Sorry for your loss. I went through similar feelings with my father. It is always best to forgive.

    • Reply


      17 January 2018

      Thank you, Janelle! It’s so liberating, isn’t it? So happy you could do it. <3

  4. Reply


    17 January 2018

    Powerful post. Parent child relationships can be so difficult. Thanks so much for sharing.

    • Reply


      18 January 2018

      Indeed they can be. But we grow, all the time. Thank you

  5. Reply


    17 January 2018

    So sorry for your loss. It is so good that you chose forgiveness, we are able to live free from bitterness and grudges, you are courageous for your decisions. This was a good read!

    • Reply


      18 January 2018

      Thank you for your empathy and kind encouraging words.

  6. Reply


    18 January 2018

    So sorry for your loss. Your words are so powerful and really made me think of the relationships in my life.

    • Reply


      18 January 2018

      Thank you! This brings true and pure joy in my heart that my words go out there and manage to touch someone else’s heart and soul.

  7. Reply


    18 January 2018

    Oh wow. How painful and difficult yet freeing this must’ve been for you to write. I don’t have much to say personally about this but I think it is great that you allowed yourself to be so honest with your feelings.

    • Reply


      19 January 2018

      Thank you, Nicole!

  8. Reply


    19 January 2018

    oh, hugs. Life is so challenging. But I always say we are so much better off than so many people who are going through the trauma and pain that is so much worse than what we may be going through. I think now of the 13 siblings who were found this week. God bless us all!

    • Reply


      19 January 2018

      Hugs right back to you! We learn and grow, right? Thank you for stopping by.

  9. Reply

    Sara |

    20 January 2018

    I am so sorry for your lost. Your letter was so powerful amd beautifully written. Sending my love and condolences ♡.

    • Reply


      20 January 2018

      Thank you! xoxo

  10. Reply


    25 January 2018

    this is so beautiful, so precious…
    I congratulate you for the writing, but mostly by the feelings you has shown us… Be free, be happy, you deserve…
    Chi <3



I am… me. A human being. One woman among the millions and millions of women out there. Perhaps you passed by me on the street. Maybe you made me cry. Maybe you made me laugh. Perhaps I elbowed you by mistake and didn’t have the chance to apologise. Look to your right.

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