Letter to a Mother from Her Daughter

Dear Mother, Pride has prevented us many times to enjoy moments that could have been extremely beautiful and happy. The wounds didn’t let us hug each other warmly, for each of us bumped into them and felt their pain. Our egos led many fierce, “bloody” battles and left such deep wounds behind, so we no longer knew why our souls were so petrified. I learn from them, for I no longer want to let myself be subdued by your mistakes, just because it’s genetic. I learn from them for my children, to rise above the evil, above the egos filled with fears, envy and resentment, which the deeper the wounds, the larger they become and feed on evil.  I no longer allow myself fall from harsh words and insults, screams […]

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The Place where Youth is Frozen in Time

On a really hot July day, I started making phone calls to book a room in Cluj for my kiddo and me. I was to find out in much awe that almost everything was taken because of the Depeche Mode concert. To be honest, I kind of panicked! I already saw us sleeping under some bridge. And oh dear, how much I would have liked to go to the concert myself, for old times’  sake! But no, I was to live through the anxiety of an entrance examination. Not mine, of course. In my modern technological search, I stumbled over a place that immediately drew my attention. A hostel. I knew about the concept of hostels since the old days when I was a child in foreign countries, but I […]

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Letter to Myself

  My dear friend, I’ve known you since you were very little. I carried you with me everywhere. Permanently. I held you close even in my sleep. You are that part of me who has darkened and saddened moments that could have been times of pure joy. Why? Because you didn’t let me trust myself, you killed my confidence. You swallowed my words. And my courage. And my pride. You suffocated me at night, clutching your heavy and invisible hands around my throat. You underestimated my femininity. You hindered me to fully live those moments of pure joy, to absorb them deeply in my whole being. For you always planted seeds of fear, doubt and mistrust in the corner of my mind. I loyally carried you with me everywhere and […]

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A Baggage Called Past (Part II)

Childhood. We are all born the same: sweet little babies, dependent on those around us, namely on our parents. We open our eyes and the first person almost all of us see is our mother. The outside world is now introduced to us. The mother is to become the symbol of love and warmth. In happy cases. We don’t know, we don’t remember how our mother spoke to us: in a calm and soothing voice, with harsh words, did she want us or not, did she absorb into her being our little bodies with all her heart while lovingly looking at us in our very first moments in this world, as if she might have wanted to make sure she would have our sweet and innocent face forever stuck on […]

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A Baggage Called Past (Part I)

Let’s take a trip together, a trip into your childhood. Each one of us carries a “baggage”. My baggage might be larger or heavier than yours. Or perhaps yours is heavier or larger than your friend’s. Your baggage may have clothes inside that are more beautiful and colourful than mine. The clothes in my baggage can be blacker or uglier or dirtier than those of the guy next to me. And the list may go on. This baggage is my past or your past, or everyone’s past. The clothes inside are our memories. We all carry it, whether we realise it or not. And we needn’t compare our baggage, we simply couldn’t, because it differs for everyone, and we feel its weight depending on our own power to carry it, […]

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